homesick

My time in Japan is drawing to an end... I've got 3 days left of work, YAY!

My sister is arriving in Tokyo on Friday and then her and I are going to travel for 2 weeks. We're gonna climb Mt. Fuji and then we're gonna spend some time hiking in the Northern Japan Alps before heading back to Nagoya(provided the weather is good and that we don't die of exhaustion). Then we're gonna head to Kyoto, Nara, Osaka (briefly) and Hiroshima. I haven't seen my sister in over a year so I'm really excited about it. I know it's kinda cliche but my (twin) sister is kinda my best friend so it's been really hard not being able to talk to her like I usually would. Thank God for Skype. I think she's gonna have a tough time being away from my niece for so long though- she's never been apart from her for more than 2 days- and she had a hard time with that ^_^

After my sister takes off I'm going to bike the island of Shikoku (the 88 Temple Pilgrimage)with my friend Katy. And then I head home!!

I know a lot of people that read this might not understand.. but I'm really ready to go home. Going to Japan has been a great experience, and if I could do it again I wouldn't change anything... but I'm honestly not very here. The realization that I don't really like it here has been a tough one to cope with as I've dreamed of coming to Japan since I was 12. That's not to say that I 'hate' Japan, because I don't. there are things I like and there are things I don't like... and it's the same in America... but the difference here is that the stuff I don't like greatly out weighs the stuff I like. And of course, America is my home... while I'd never describe myself as being overly patriotic, I didn't realize how much I loved my home until I came here.

Mind you, I don't speak Japanese... not much anyway (took a year in university and haven't really learned much here since I spend my day speaking English... and well,lets be honest- I don't study). Sometimes I kinda feel like if I spoke a bit more Japanese I might have had a different experience, but then again the things that bother me don't really have anything to do with language- Japan is just a lonely place for me...

I think if I was still working for NOVA I might have stayed longer... but that was because I was working with all foreigners... so I always had someone to talk to and hang out with. Now I work in an Japanese office and my co-workers, while friendly, keep to themselves most of the time and don't really hang out together. They're also generally quite a bit older than Katy and me so that adds to it. When I was at NOVA I also had a flatmate so I never came home to an empty apartment.. AND I was lucky enough to have 6 other teachers all living in the same complex. Since NOVA went under everyone had to move.. and although we're not SUPER far apart from each other... it's enough where I only get to hang out with my friends like once a month... and that's if I'm lucky and we all have a day off together. And while I've made Japanese fiends my age they're generally working too so it's tough. If I were to live abroad again I think I'd want to bring someone with me... seems to be the best way to go.

So yeah long story short... I'm not happy here... I don't hate it, but I'm I don't love it either.

I have met a lot of great people here though and parts of Japan are amazing so as I said earlier I am glad I came. Coming here has made me want to travel a lot more... I'm determined that I'm going to backpack Europe.

sorry to be whining about my time here... I usually try to keep my journals upbeat if I can... but I think I just needed to get that off of my chest >_o It's been tough for me to talk about it because everyone expects me to tell them how much I love Japan (and parts of it I do). anyway that's all for now... Looking forward to seeing my twin sister! 3 more days left of work!!!

As always thanks for anyone who takes the time to read this